Game of Thrones is arguably one of the best shows on TV right now. It's not Breaking Bad or The Sopranos, but it's still highly entertaining. Additionally, there are somewhere between 10 and 300 characters on the show, so let's just say, Wikipedia is kept pretty busy. I haven't read the books, and I'm too far into the show (Season 4) to go back and start them now. I'm well aware a lot of other people have already done this, some I've read, some I haven't, but considering characters change/die every episode I decided to do one.
Spoiler Alert: This post will go up to Season 4's Episode: The Laws of Gods and Men. So, if you haven't seen last week's episode, which was phenomenal by the way, stop reading now.
ALABAMA Nick Saban - Tywin Lannister: This one is pretty easy. Saban has more power than any other coach in the SEC. You think if Dan Mullen argued a type of system was causing injuries the NCAA would care? Please, they'd have sent him a nice card that said "Thank you for your concern, we'll look into it." Then they'd have ordered beers and cracked jokes for 2 hours about how could that guy think we'd change our entire way we do things so he could gain a competitive advantage. Tywin is really the one in charge, regardless of which Lannister/Baratheon sits on the Iron Throne. He makes all the decisions, and is going to do everything in his power to make sure his family/program stays in power.
ARKANSAS Bret Bielema - Cersei Lannister: Now that Joffrey is dead, if you didn't see his death, there was no better death for fitting for that kid (he had absolutely no redeeming characteristics), Cersei is officially the most despicable character on GOT. When Bret came into the league from the Big Ten, he had several choices, he could have gone the religious (Richt/Freeze) route, the witty (Spurrier) route, the bizarre (Miles) route, or the jerk (Saban) route. Guess which one he chose? Watching Arkansas fail last year after shocking everyone by taking a Big Ten coach, who arguably took a step down to come to the SEC was fantastic. Not because I don't like Arkansas, but they have had an inflated ego after some good seasons under HDN and Bobby P. Bret may build the program back up, but it's going to take time. Cersei used to be sitting high and pretty, now she's seen her son die in her arms, and her title is likely to be taken by the Margaery Tyrell for a second time. Bret has had quite a fall from the days in Camp Randall.
FLORIDA Will Muschamp - The Hound: The Hound is a pretty awesome character. He may seem like a big dumb killing machine, but why has he kept the Stark girl around so long? Why has he done so much to protect her? Why is Will Muschamp on the hot seat? The team won 11 games in 2012 and now he's a terrible coach because 75% of his players are on IR? I keep waiting for The Hound's character to become a major player in the whole pinnacle of the power struggle, and it appears to be coming but he better hurry up soon. Muschamp has the same timeline in Gainesville. The Gators have two head coaches (Spurrier and Meyer) that they're going to hold ever coach to for the end of time. Muschamp doesn't like hearing people talk about how bad his offense is, and he's happy to tell them about hard he works and what he has to do since Urban left the cupboard bare.
GEORGIA Mark Richt - Jaime Lannister: Jaime seems to be the victim of unfortunate circumstances (having to kill the Mad King to keep the city from being destroyed, losing his hand, and now having to learn to sword fight left-handed). However, he also puts himself in difficult situations (sleeping with his sister, pushing Bran out of a tower, I won't even go into the issue after Joffrey's death). Mark Richt seems to also get a raw deal. The guy wins 10 games a year on average but people aren't happy with that. If it wasn't for a goal line stop and a lack of timeouts, Richt might have a National Championship ring. However, he also has several players who have had "disciplinary issues" off the field. Still, he's a likable guy and it's hard not to cheer for him despite his flaws. Regardless of what rabid Georgia fans think, he just keeps on winning.
KENTUCKY Mark Stoops - Balon Greyjoy: The Greyjoys family motto is "We Do Not Sow." Kentucky's motto might as well be, "We don't care about anything but basketball." For years they've spent unlimited resources into their basketball program but haven't developed a competent football team. Sure they'll be successful (7-5) every now and then but ultimately no one is really scared of them. The Greyjoys control the Iron Islands which sit apart from most of the rest of the Seven Kingdoms. Kentucky sits apart from the rest of the SEC choosing to dominate basketball (which they have been quite good at doing). Stoops may be able to make some noise, it just might not be in the form of winning games.
LSU Les Miles - Hodor: Les Miles has to be Hodor. It's too perfect not to happen. Hodor is a likable character who is big, strong, and physical, but public speaking is not his best skill. In fact, he can only say his name, "Hodor." Go Youtube "Les Miles press conference" and ask yourself how that man passed the interview process. It's a collection of nonsensical rants that you'd expect a senile grandfather to say at Thanksgiving dinner. If he made those comments after having eaten some cranberry sauce you'd have had a secret family meeting where the topic is "What the hell are we gonna do about grandpa?" How is this guy able to collect talent and convince kids to go to his school? Did you see the video where he just freely runs red lights in Baton Rouge? Does he know how a clock works? Go watch the end of the 2009 Ole Miss-LSU game. The guy eats grass and wins 11 games a year. It's completely baffling. You can't not like him because he's obviously the luckiest man on the face of the earth, but when you ask him about the strategy for the game he talks for 45 minutes about the best crawdad recipe he got from some guy on who comes to games on a fan boat.
MISSISSIPPI STATE Dan Mullen - Peter "Littlefinger" Baelish: I'm going to go on record for those who don't know, I don't like Dan Mullen. I don't care what he does going forward, the bridge is burned. Not just because he coaches Mississippi State, but because he's a complete jerk about how he coaches them. I liked Croom, nice guy, and he did his best, but Dan Mullen acts like he's the Savior of Starkville, that title by the way belongs to Mayor Parker Wiseman (#namedrop). Mullen thinks he could go 1-11 but as long as he wins the Egg Bowl who cares, and he's probably right. Littlefinger hasn't done anything but sit on the sidelines and snipe people who are trying to make the world a better place. He's a dick. Dan Mullen ratted on Auburn about Cam Newton (who clearly got paid or at least his dad's church did), but still every SEC program pays players. All of them do. It's a gentlemen's agreement, you don't turn in someone else who does the same thing you did and is just better at it.
MIZZOU Gary Pinkel - Oberyn Martell: Where did this guy come from? I don't know, but we better start taking him seriously. The first year in the SEC was not kind to Pinkel, but last year he surprised everyone by winning the SEC East. Oberyn came out of nowhere, and now he's one of the most powerful people in King's Landing. He just sat on a tribunal to decide Tyrion's fate and seems poised to make the Lannisters pay for killing his family. The SEC laughed at Mizzou as not being a big boy football team, and it may have taken a year, but Mizzou has shown they can play with best conference in football.
OLE MISS Hugh Freeze - Jon Snow: Hugh Freeze seems destined to do well at Ole Miss (8-4/9-3 average would be well by Ole Miss standards), but it's going to take some time and he's still got a long road to hoe. Jon Snow has been an interesting character, but he hasn't broken through yet to be any real threat to the Iron Throne. Being the bastard son of Ned Stark, it's going to be tough to gain massive support, but he's capable of stirring things up in the process until he finds his way. This is year 3 for Freeze who took a 2-10 team to 7-6 then 8-5. Progress is being made, but he's still going to have to knock off the Big 3 if he wants to get people worried. Hugh is still trying to find himself as a coach, while trying to do the right thing.
SOUTH CAROLINA Steve Spurrier - Tyrion Lannister: Tyrion and Spurrier have a lot in common. They are both hilarious and neither could care less about what anyone else thinks. Tyrion's performance in this past week's episode was his best and the best performance by anyone on the show to date. Spurrier's performance at press conferences is unparalleled. It is always worthy of a few zingers and jabs at his opponents. I hope Spurrier and Tyrion stay around as long as possible and so do GOT/Gamecock fans. Tyrion demands trial by combat for the death of Joffrey, which is actually a punishment that is still on the books in England. Seriously, in 2002 a man requested trial by combat rather than pay a minor traffic offense ticket in what is clearly the most ridiculous/badass move ever in the court system. Watching The Head Ball Coach throw/kick visors and crack jokes have been comedy gold for years. I just hope he coaches into his 80s so we can enjoy this as long as possible.
TENNESSEE Butch Jones - Stannis Baratheon: Tennessee enjoyed a lot of success under Phil Fulmer and they have been trying to get back to what they believe is their rightful place in the SEC East. Stannis has the best claim to the throne but he's going to have to beg, borrow, and steal to get his army back. Tennessee has the ability to get back to SEC glory but it's not going to happen overnight. Stannis has also been described as having the personality of a lobster. Butch Jones doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who you'd like to have a beer with, but he seems to be a pretty good coach. The plea made at the Iron Bank this week, by Stannis's loyal servant Davos was pretty convincing and the Iron Bank agreed to the loan. I don't know if Tennessee's Board of Trustee's will be as giving but you can bet they are tired of .500 seasons, because they believe the SEC is their's by right.
TEXAS A&M Kevin Sumlin - Daenerys Targaryen: Daenerys has been on the outskirts for 4 years building her army. However, she now seems content to rule her own city rather than continue the march on King's Landing. Sumlin has done a great job his first two years at A&M but he's had Johnny Football at the helm. Don't expect to not see some drop off. Johnny was responsible for at least 2 more wins per year than most normal QBs could have provided. We'll see how A&M does without him going forward. Daenerys now has to actually rule rather than conquer. She crucified the Masters and clearly feels guilty for it, meanwhile her dragons are out barbecuing goats and she's got to repay farmers who clearly weren't expecting that kind of day. It sounds a lot like Johnny Football's behavior. You think everything is going great then you get a phone call "Umm Coach Sumlin Johnny's in Vegas this weekend." Then you turn on the news and see this.
VANDERBILT Derek Mason - Tommen Baratheon: It's difficult not to root for Vandy. Ole Miss plays them every year and even if they beat us I still like them (not that night but after I've calmed down). They do their best to do things the way in which it was meant to be done. They still don't have an athletic department, but that's not what Vandy's about, which is why they went and got Derek Mason from Stanford. If he's half as good as David Shaw is, Vandy will be fine. Tommen just became king after the death of his brother, but he still really doesn't know what he's doing. Mason comes in on the shoes of a very very good coach in James Franklin and Vandy fans want to believe 8 wins is possible every year. It's going to take Tommen some time, but he may turnout to be a good ruler. For Vandy, 8 wins every now and then is a major step up. Welcome to the SEC Derek Mason. I hope his SEC Media days press conference when he's seated next to Spurrier go better than this though.
Game of Thrones continues tonight with Tyrion's Trial By Combat. I highly doubt he'll be killed but after the Red Wedding who knows anymore. Everyone I've talked to who have read the books basically say no one is safe, which makes the show that much better. If you don't win in college football you're gone, and then even if you do win but you don't win as much as people expected you to, you're still gone. So it's an interesting comparison. Half the characters/coaches on this list may be gone in 3 years, but it certainly is entertaining. By the way here's a quick preview of the Trial By Combat fight tonight.
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