Best Rivalries In Sports South of the Mason-Dixon: By State

Rivalries are one of the many things that make sports great.  We can sit here and talk about sportsmanship, athleticism, the unyielding human spirit to win, but what really gets your blood pumping is when you look at the schedule and see your rival's name staring at you.  It's an instant shot of adrenaline.  It makes you want to down a glass of bourbon and start lifting weights.  I love the buildup, especially when ESPN shows clips ad nauseum of past games.  Alright, let's list the best sports rivalries in the South by state.

ALABAMA:  BAMA vs Auburn - Roll Damn Tide!  War Damn Eagle!  I remember talking to a guy who went to Cumberland School of Law in Birmingham.  He said the first day on campus a classmate came up to him and asked him where he was from.  He said, "North Carolina," and the classmate then yelled, "AUBURN OR ALABAMA PICK A SIDE!"  This rivalry is arguably one of the best in the world.  The Iron Bowl last year only added to the drama.  With Auburn on the upswing and Sweater Vest Gus at the helm, and BAMA worshiping at the Church of Saban, this rivalry isn't going anywhere anytime soon.  You're welcome PAWWWL!  BTW Chi O Loves the Tide!

ARKANSAS:  Arkansas vs LSU - This is a newly created rivalry, historically speaking, but don't think the Bayou Bengals take the Razorbacks lightly, especially after trying to steal their coach.  Ask a Tigers fan about Houston Dale Nutt.  Hell, ask an Arkansas fan about Houston Dale Nutt; they both hate him.  Life starts and ends with the Razorbacks in the Natural State.  But don't you dare mention John L. Smith to those people.

DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA:  Redskins vs. Cowboys - I know it's not technically a state, but you can't mention rivalries in the South without mentioning the Redskins and Cowboys.  Their mascots get in fights.  RGIII and Tony Romo, you could fill up a year of sports talk radio debating whether or not these guys can win a Superbowl.  It's probably never going to happen, but could you imagine the hype if these guys ever reach the NFC Championship game against each other?

GEORGIA:  Atlanta Braves vs. Every Other NL Team - The Georgia Bulldogs have a huge fan base in The Peach State, but nothing comes close to paralleling the love for the Braves.  When you've made the playoffs as much as the Braves have, you just look at the rest of the NL (except for the Cardinals) with the disdain that someone who wears Allen Edmonds does when you bring them a pair of Cole Haan's.  This?  This is what you want me to put on my feet?  

FLORIDA:  Florida vs. FSU - Sorry Miami, but this ain't 1990.  It's Gators vs. Seminoles these days.  Spurrier vs. Bowden was superb, with Free Shoes University chants echoing in The Swamp.  The acquisition of Jameis "Deadliest Catch" Winston has only made it even bigger.  Even with the down year the Gators had, 2014 should be interesting if the Fighting Muschamps can knock the FSU closer off his lofty perch.  P.S. Red Lightning needs a job in the NFL!

KENTUCKY:  Kentucky vs. Louisville - Welcome to a state where no one cares about football.  I know Bobby P is back in the Bluegrass state, but honestly, ask a UK fan whether they'd rather meet Mark Stoops or Coach Cal.  Just make sure if you ask a Louisville fan the same thing she's not a blonde volleyball player or enjoys Italian food in the wee hours of the morning.   This rivalry is great, I hope it continues for a long time.

LOUISIANA: LSU vs. BAMA - This one was close.  People in Louisiana adore their Saints, but if you asked most people whether they'd rather go to a Saints-Falcons game in the Dome or go to a Tigers-Tide game on Saturday night in Death Valley, you know which one they'll choose.  LSU and BAMA have built up their rivalry as of late, with the Mad Hatter vs. The Nicktator growing every year these teams play.  I can remember sitting at the top of Tiger Stadium in 2011 listening to people chant..."WE WANT BAMA" in the 2nd Quarter of the Auburn game.  I just hope it doesn't come down to clock management.  

MARYLAND:  Ravens vs. Steelers - The Ravens and the Steelers hate each other!  Can you imagine Steve Smith going across the middle and Troy "Head and Shoulders" Polamalu comes across and lays a huge hit on him?  Joe Flacco vs. Big Ben!  The Steel Curtain vs. The Edgar Allan Poes!  Get out of the way when these two teams play.  

MISSISSIPPI:  Ole Miss vs. Mississippi State - The Rebels and Bulldogs are not friendly rivals.  The Billboard wars, the late night phone calls to recruits,  HOTTY TODDY vs. HAIL STATE, The Flagship vs. The People's University...these two schools have very different visions.  This is culture class at its best.   If you're a kid growing up in the Magnolia State, you have a preference.  The Egg Bowl every year is always classic football.  Don't think this rivalry is big?  I know State grads that would sooner burn their law degree, than tell people they went to law school at Ole Miss.  See ya in Oxford this year!

MISSOURI:  Mizzou vs. Kansas - This has been a border war since the 1840's when abolitionists and anti-abolitionists started running guns into the state like it was a National Rifle Association convention.  Since Mizzou moved to the SEC it may have died down, but ask a Mizzou fan what they like about Kansas and they'll tell you the best thing to happen to Kansas was Host of Double Dare, Mark Summers.  

NORTH CAROLINA:  UNC vs. Duke - This is a Baby Blue state.  Sorry Dookies, but it is.  You can camp out in your makeshift $1800 tents and pretend like you're roughing it, but you're not fooling anyone.  85% of UNC's students are NC residents, and I'm willing to bet 85% of Duke students live 30 miles from NYC.  The schools are 8 miles apart.  Imagine if BAMA and Auburn were 8 miles apart.  I know people who call in sick to work the day of and the day after the UNC-Duke game.  

 OKLAHOMA:  Sooners vs. Cowboys - They call it Bedlam, because in a game played long ago they ended up playing in a ditch.  I could go with "I'm a man, I'm 40!"  But nothing beats an old man with a huge mascot head firing a gun into a crowd on a crispy Saturday morning!  Not So Fast My Friend!  GET OFF MY PORCH!

SOUTH CAROLINA:  USC vs. Clemson - Dabo vs. The Head Ball Coach.  These rips have been great.  South Carolina was abysmal at football until Spurrier came to town, now everyone in Columbia is rocking the visor.  Clemson has done great under Dabo, except for when it comes to playing against the Gamecocks.  People wonder how South Carolina got Spurrier to coach there.  Well, they gave him a membership to Augusta National.  I know people that would coach the Taliban for a membership at Augusta National.  I guarantee you this guy just sits in his office playing Phil Collins's "I Don't Care Anymore."

TENNESSEE:  Vols vs. BAMA - Forget the UT-Vandy game or UT-Kentucky.  Tennessee's rival is BAMA.  The Alabama-Tennessee rivalry has seen peaks and valleys for both teams.  Tennessee thinks they have found a new king with Butch Jones, but he's got a big hole to dig out of (though he's digging pretty quickly).  As of right now though, they are throwing bait in the water hoping they've found the next Phil Fulmer.

TEXAS:  Texas vs. Texas A&M - We'll all miss Johnny Football, and with A&M now in the SEC the Longhorns-Aggies rivalry isn't what it used to be.  Still I think both schools are a lot happier and even if they don't meet every year, the rivalry still burns deep.  I'll miss this, but I won't miss having to play against him.  

VIRGINIA:  UVA vs. VT - I know UVA doesn't get a lot of credit as of late, but I'll take Charlottesville over Blacksburg any day of the week.  Beamer is on the decline and we'll see how well VT picks up the pieces.  Mike London may be on a short leash, but he's overcome adversity before and promising a recruit an education from UVA is right up there with Stanford as an effective recruiting tool.  Still he's got to deliver this year, or the Cavaliers will be looking elsewhere for a new coach.  

WEST VIRGINIA:  WVU vs. Marshall - The Mountaineers vs. The Herd.  The Herd has picked up some steam as of late and many are predicting they are going to a big bowl this year.  Meanwhile, WVU hasn't found the new Pat White/Geno Smith yet, and they aren't playing in the Big East anymore.  Maybe WVU needs to not answer the door when recruits knock looking like this.

With College Baseball season gearing up for Regionals tomorrow, we should get to enjoy another month of college sports before football comes back in August.  

Memorial Day: A Tribute To Those Who Made And Keep America Free

It's Memorial Day, which marks the start of Summer, but more importantly it is the day we remember those who served to make our country undoubtedly the best country in the world.  Thank you to all of those who have and currently do protect our freedoms.

I'm currently sitting here enjoying a Sam Adams Summer Ale watching baseball, because well I love baseball, and Sam Adams Summer Ale is delicious.  In the background is a picture of a custom made gate from Charleston, SC, that hangs in my house.   Charleston obviously played a huge role in multiple American wars (Revolutionary War/Civil War), and the South Carolina flag is arguably the most recognizable in the country.  With that having been said, here's some of the most badass Americans who helped make sure we could enjoy beer and Summer without fear or persecution.

Nathan Hale:  American Revolution - There are many famous people who through their sacrifice helped to form this country, but Nathan Hale's story continues to stick in the minds of Americans.  Most people know the grade school story.  Nathan Hale was a spy for the Americans who was caught by the British and hanged.  His last words were, "I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country."  First of all, those words are pretty impressive to utter when you've got mere seconds to live.  Secondly, there has been some debate as to what was said, but all scholars pretty much agree he was composed and articulate and gave a rather impressive last speech.  What a lot of people don't know is that the reason he was hanged is because George Washington asked for volunteers to spy on the British position for their invasion of Manhattan.  Hale was the only volunteer.  At 21 years old he infiltrated British lines and successfully gathered the information needed.  After the British burned the island, Hale attempted to escape back across Long Island Sound and was found with incriminating documents.  He was hanged the next morning.   He wrote letters to an American officer and his mother shortly before his death, but the British refused to mail them after reading them, because they were afraid of the inspiration and fervor his words would evoke among the colonists.  His death went out as a rally cry to American patriots and farmers, carpenters, and shopkeepers volunteered by the thousands to take up arms against the greatest military army ever assembled.

George Mallon: World War I - While serving in France during "The Great War," George Mallon was separated from his company along with 9 other soldiers due to intense fog.  Mallon and the 9 other soldiers attacked 9 machinegun nests, and no one was killed.  Read that again, 10 Americans attacked 9 different German machinegun nests, and not one American was killed.  Mallon even personally attacked one German soldier with nothing but his fists.  Mallon wasn't done.  He and his men came upon 2 more machine gun nests, whereupon Mallon ordered his men to attack from the flank while Mallon rushed headfirst at the machinegun nests by himself.  They ended up taking over 100 men prisoner as the Germans likely sat there in the fog asking where the hell did these guys come from?

Daniel Inouye: World War II - A lot of people know former U.S. Senator Daniel Inouye for his long and great service to state of Hawaii.  What a lot of people don't know is the story of his service during the Second World War.  Daniel Inouye was living in Honolulu, Hawaii and was on his way to church, during the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor.  Inouye rushed to help the wounded soldiers and sailors and spent the next 5 days without sleep, patching up American servicemen.  Inouye then tried to enlist in the Army, but because he was of Japanese descent he was denied and it wasn't until 1943, when two Japanese-American units were created, that he was able to enlist. Inouye signed up immediately.  Inouye was sent to Italy to fight against German troops, and what happened next is going to make no matter what you do today pale in comparison.  While in an intense fire fight, Inouye began throwing grenades to destroy German bunkers. When attempting to throw another grenade, he was shot through the stomach.  With a bullet hole in his stomach, Inouye grabbed a bag of frag genrades and charged at the enemy.  He continued throwing grenades at German positions and used his Thompson machinegun on anything that dared to walk in front of him.  Upon attacking his third German bunker, a German soldier fired a rifle mounted grenade at Inouye and hit his target, completely destroying Inouye's right arm.  Inouye, who was drunk on adrenaline and patriotism looked at his arm, which still had the grenade in it, pried it out with his left hand and lobbed it underhanded at the German soldier, who promptly met his maker.  He then cleared out the bunker with his Thompson, changed his magazine (with one hand) and began looking for more Germans to kill.  He ended up propping himself up against a tree and preceded to kill anything without an American uniform on, literally single-handedly.   He went on to fix his arm with a hook, and God help anyone who was dumb enough to ask how he got that hook.  

Clifford Wooldridge:  Afghanistan Operation Enduring Freedom -  Clifford Wooldridge was serving in the Helmand Province in Afghanistan in 2010.  I'm not an expert at all on Afghanistan, but apparently the Helmand Province is not where you want to be stationed.  It's prime heroin country, which the Taliban have used for decades to support the regime.  Furthermore, it's on the border with Pakistan, allowing Taliban fighters to pour over the border in waves and attack American and Afghan soldiers.  Before the events that would become the stuff of legend, Clifford Wooldridge already had a pretty rough go in Afghanistan.  He had two separate vehicles blown up by IEDs in one campaign, whereby he likely should have been killed.  After leading his fellow Marines into a heavy Taliban-infested region, Wooldridge and his fellow Marines came under fire.  Rather than fight the traditional battle, Wooldridge separated from his men and charged across an open field firing at the Taliban.  He then provided cover for his men to join him.  Wooldridge then prevented an ambush on an American convoy by killing multiple Taliban fighters.  He wasn't through yet.  While positioned behind a wall, Wooldridge came upon 4 Taliban armed fighters.  He charged over the wall and emptied his weapon killing three of them, but running out of ammunition before being able to kill the fourth.  So, he hopped back over the wall while taking fire and then decided if he didn't have any bullets he would have to do what came naturally.  He climbed over the wall, grabbed the Taliban fighter's gun at point blank range, wrestled it away from him and then proceeded to beat him to death with his own gun.  The Taliban did not take this incident well.  Could you imagine the conversation for those guys who witnessed this and lived?  "Well what happened?" "Umm this American, umm he ran out of bullets, then took our guns and beat us to death with our own guns."  

Thank you again to all those who help keep us safe.  It's these men and women who work day and night, so that our enemies can't sleep day or night.

Bojangles vs Chick-fil-a

Alright, this might as well be called The Carolinas vs Georgia, Charlotte vs Atlanta, Pepsi vs Coca-Cola, BBQ vs Peaches.  Both of these places are an oasis for kings of the road.  I can't tell you how many times I've been driving somewhere exhausted and hungry and seen one of these signs on an upcoming exit and thought "This could not have come at a better time."

You really can't go wrong with either one of these, but everyone has their own preference.  So, I'm going to run down some of the characteristics of both and how they stack up.

Cajun Filet Biscuit > Spicy Chicken Biscuit:  This is a tough call.  However, in my humble opinion the Cajun Filet Biscuit narrowly trumps the Spicy Chicken Biscuit.  The size is a big factor, you almost always get more chicken with the Cajun Filet Biscuit.  

Chick-fil-a Ice > Bojangles Ice:  A lot of people wouldn't think ice is a big deal.  I am not one of those people.  Ice can turn a normal drink into a phenomenal experience.  The best ice is at Sonic, but Chick-fil-a also has the "nugget ice," which is the Michael Jordan of ice.  The Bo has your typical cubes, and this one is not even close.

Chick-fil-a lunch > Bojangles lunch:  The Bo is a breakfast spot.  Some people eat lunch there, but it's hard to go there and not get breakfast food.  Chick-fil-a has some delicious lunch combos and the waffle fries are pretty tough to pass up.

Customer Service:  Bojangles > Chick-fil-a:  I know some people are going to balk at this but hear me out.  Are the people at Chick-fil-a overly nice?  Yes.  Like way too nice?  Yes.  That can get pretty annoying, but not as annoying as the amount of time they take to fill up your drink.  Just fill it up as close to the top and hand it to me.  I get free refills.  You hitting the machine 5 times for .25 seconds each time isn't helping...AT ALL.   It is so frustrating, and the fact the staff says "My pleasure" after you say thank you creeps everyone out.  If you go to Bojangles, the staff is still friendly, but you are never bored.  I've never been to a Bojangles and said that experience was boring, it's generally hilarious.  You hear stories about who's dating who, someone yells out the drive-thru window at a buddy they know in a friendly manner, and the cashier's always make you laugh.  I went to a Bojangles in Wilson, NC at 9am where the staff was calling out Bingo to patrons, and this was clearly a weekly event.   Another time I went to a Bojangles in a tie and the cashier said, "You know sir, you look like someone really important."  I was on Cloud 9 the rest of the day.  Not because I felt important, but because all I could think about was the fact that it was so rare that she sees someone in a tie on a weekday that she thought someone wearing a tie was important.

Overall experience:  Bojangles > Chick-fil-a:  It's close but in the overall total package, the Bo edges out the Cow.  The ultimate decider for me comes down to this:  Bojangles is open on Sundays and serves breakfast anytime.  I think it's very admirable that Chick-fil-a is closed on Sundays so their employees can worship and be with their families.  Let me ask you this though, how many times have you wanted Chick-fil-a on Sunday and thought, "If only Chick-fil-a was open today?"  How many times have you wanted a Spicy Chicken Biscuit or Chicken Minis at 11am only to be denied?  

The Bo and Chick-fil-a are Southern staples that aren't going anywhere anytime soon.  So, whatever your preference, head on in and grab some awesome food, and when football season comes around grab a platter at Chick-fil-a or a Bo Box.  Lastly, if you've never had a Bo Berry Biscuit.  Go order one the next time you're at the Bo....You're Welcome.

Small Sleepy Southern Town: Elizabethtown, NC

Some of the best surprises can be found in small towns.  Elizabethtown, NC, located about an hour west of Wilmington and an hour east of Fayetteville, is one of those towns.  The downtown is like built like a Southern town set in the 1950s.  It has clothing stores, antique shops, and some awesome restaurants.

One of the most popular spots in town is Melvin's, where you can get one of the best old fashioned hamburgers in the state.  They've been featured in Our State and countless other magazines.  The burgers are handmade and the lines can be long, but it's well worth it.  Just make sure you bring cash, because they don't take the card. 

The courthouse looks like an old elementary school, but the surrounding trees and the personalities of the people in it make up for the design.  I don't think I've ever seen more than 20 people in the courthouse at one time.  The staff is extremely friendly and you feel like you're family, even if it's the first time they've met you.

Lastly, if you get the chance to stop in Elizabethtown, go to Leinwand's department store.  This store has been a staple of the town since 1935.  They have both men's and women's apparel and the staff gives first class treatment to all of their patrons.  There's something for everyone, no matter what your style is.  Ricky Leinwand, the proprietor, is one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet.  Elizabethtown, NC, like a lot of small southern towns, is a place that you can miss if you blink, but it's well worth a stop off the beaten path.  

The Buzz are Back in Charlotte

 The Charlotte Hornets were officially reborn today, as the Bobcats (terrible name) changed their name back to the Hornets.  Thank you New Orleans.  Throughout the late 80's and early 90's, the Charlotte Hornets were a high flying team, who may have had limited success, but certainly won over a lot of fans.  I can remember growing up watching Hornets games with my dad in our house on UPN and just being in awe that the Carolinas had a pro basketball team with guys that could actually play.

If there was ever a team that defined early 90s basketball it was the Charlotte Hornets.  I mean look at this jacket.  How awesome is this thing?  Starter really outdid themselves.  If you lived in the Carolinas during the early 90s, this thing was guaranteed baller status.  How else can you wear purple and teal and look cool?  If you can find one on Ebay for the love of everything holy go purchase one right now.  

Michael Jordan hasn't exactly been the best GM in the league, but hats off to him for helping to bring this back to the Queen City.  

If you don't know, the Charlotte Hornets were so named back in the late 80s because Lord Cornwallis referred to the American patriots who defended the area around Charlotte as a "veritable nest of hornets."  That's a pretty awesome name origin.  Here's to the Hornets being back in Charlotte and hopefully some more productive basketball going forward.

IF SEC COACHES WERE ON GAME OF THRONES

Game of Thrones is arguably one of the best shows on TV right now.  It's not Breaking Bad or The Sopranos, but it's still highly entertaining.  Additionally, there are somewhere between 10 and 300 characters on the show, so let's just say, Wikipedia is kept pretty busy.  I haven't read the books, and I'm too far into the show (Season 4) to go back and start them now.   I'm well aware a lot of other people have already done this, some I've read, some I haven't, but considering characters change/die every episode I decided to do one.

Spoiler Alert:  This post will go up to Season 4's Episode: The Laws of Gods and Men.  So, if you haven't seen last week's episode, which was phenomenal by the way, stop reading now.  


ALABAMA  Nick Saban - Tywin Lannister:  This one is pretty easy.  Saban has more power than any other coach in the SEC.  You think if Dan Mullen argued a type of system was causing injuries the NCAA would care?  Please, they'd have sent him a nice card that said "Thank you for your concern, we'll look into it."  Then they'd have ordered beers and cracked jokes for 2 hours about how could that guy think we'd change our entire way we do things so he could gain a competitive advantage.  Tywin is really the one in charge, regardless of which Lannister/Baratheon sits on the Iron Throne.  He makes all the decisions, and is going to do everything in his power to make sure his family/program stays in power.

ARKANSAS Bret Bielema - Cersei Lannister:  Now that Joffrey is dead, if you didn't see his death, there was no better death for fitting for that kid (he had absolutely no redeeming characteristics), Cersei is officially the most despicable character on GOT.  When Bret came into the league from the Big Ten, he had several choices, he could have gone the religious (Richt/Freeze) route, the witty (Spurrier) route, the bizarre (Miles) route, or the jerk (Saban) route.  Guess which one he chose?  Watching Arkansas fail last year after shocking everyone by taking a Big Ten coach, who arguably took a step down to come to the SEC was fantastic.  Not because I don't like Arkansas, but they have had an inflated ego after some good seasons under HDN and Bobby P.  Bret may build the program back up, but it's going to take time.  Cersei used to be sitting high and pretty, now she's seen her son die in her arms, and her title is likely to be taken by the Margaery Tyrell for a second time.  Bret has had quite a fall from the days in Camp Randall.

AUBURN Gus Malzahan - Margaery Tyrell:  Ol' Gus came damn near to pulling off another miracle in the National Championship Game against Jameis "I Got Crabs" Winston.  Auburn's season was ridiculous.  They exceed expectations beyond belief.  The Tyrells have played the Lannisters for fools since they came on the scene.  I understand political alliances are good, but you have the throne, even if you're broke you can generate revenue i.e take control of another family's mineral deposits and claim it's for the good of the Seven Kingdoms.  I've visited both Bama and Auburn and it's not even close.  Bama is far superior in every facet.  The only reason to go to Auburn is because they're paying you.  Margaery got out of having to consummate a marriage to an absolute tyrant and now she is likely going to marry someone who is so young and inexperienced he would give her the seat on the Iron Throne just for smiling at him.  Gus went to Arkansas State then sat by watching Chizik metaphorically die just two years after winning a National Championship.  What have you done for me lately?  Now he's seen as the savior of Auburn, as he magically swoops in to save the Plains Kingdom.  We'll see how long it lasts, but the Lannisters/BAMA are mighty nervous.  Do you think Nick Saban dreamed about Gus taking his title?

FLORIDA Will Muschamp - The Hound:  The Hound is a pretty awesome character.  He may seem like a big dumb killing machine, but why has he kept the Stark girl around so long?  Why has he done so much to protect her?  Why is Will Muschamp on the hot seat?  The team won 11 games in 2012 and now he's a terrible coach because 75% of his players are on IR?  I keep waiting for The Hound's character to become a major player in the whole pinnacle of the power struggle, and it appears to be coming but he better hurry up soon.  Muschamp has the same timeline in Gainesville.  The Gators have two head coaches (Spurrier and Meyer) that they're going to hold ever coach to for the end of time.  Muschamp doesn't like hearing people talk about how bad his offense is, and he's happy to tell them about hard he works and what he has to do since Urban left the cupboard bare.

GEORGIA Mark Richt - Jaime Lannister:  Jaime seems to be the victim of unfortunate circumstances (having to kill the Mad King to keep the city from being destroyed, losing his hand, and now having to learn to sword fight left-handed).  However, he also puts himself in difficult situations (sleeping with his sister, pushing Bran out of a tower, I won't even go into the issue after Joffrey's death).  Mark Richt seems to also get a raw deal.  The guy wins 10 games a year on average but people aren't happy with that.  If it wasn't for a goal line stop and a lack of timeouts, Richt might have a National Championship ring.  However, he also has several players who have had "disciplinary issues" off the field.  Still, he's a likable guy and it's hard not to cheer for him despite his flaws.  Regardless of what rabid Georgia fans think, he just keeps on winning.

KENTUCKY Mark Stoops - Balon Greyjoy:  The Greyjoys family motto is "We Do Not Sow."  Kentucky's motto might as well be, "We don't care about anything but basketball."  For years they've spent unlimited resources into their basketball program but haven't developed a competent football team.  Sure they'll be successful (7-5) every now and then but ultimately no one is really scared of them.  The Greyjoys control the Iron Islands which sit apart from most of the rest of the Seven Kingdoms.  Kentucky sits apart from the rest of the SEC choosing to dominate basketball (which they have been quite good at doing).  Stoops may be able to make some noise, it just might not be in the form of winning games.

LSU Les Miles - Hodor:  Les Miles has to be Hodor.  It's too perfect not to happen.  Hodor is a likable character who is big, strong, and physical, but public speaking is not his best skill.  In fact, he can only say his name, "Hodor."  Go Youtube "Les Miles press conference" and ask yourself how that man passed the interview process.  It's a collection of nonsensical rants that you'd expect a senile grandfather to say at Thanksgiving dinner.  If he made those comments after having eaten some cranberry sauce you'd have had a secret family meeting where the topic is "What the hell are we gonna do about grandpa?"  How is this guy able to collect talent and convince kids to go to his school?  Did you see the video where he just freely runs red lights in Baton Rouge?  Does he know how a clock works?  Go watch the end of the 2009 Ole Miss-LSU game.  The guy eats grass and wins 11 games a year.  It's completely baffling.  You can't not like him because he's obviously the luckiest man on the face of the earth, but when you ask him about the strategy for the game he talks for 45 minutes about the best crawdad recipe he got from some guy on who comes to games on a fan boat.   

MISSISSIPPI STATE Dan Mullen - Peter "Littlefinger" Baelish:  I'm going to go on record for those who don't know, I don't like Dan Mullen.  I don't care what he does going forward, the bridge is burned.  Not just because he coaches Mississippi State, but because he's a complete jerk about how he coaches them.  I liked Croom, nice guy, and he did his best, but Dan Mullen acts like he's the Savior of Starkville, that title by the way belongs to Mayor Parker Wiseman (#namedrop).  Mullen thinks he could go 1-11 but as long as he wins the Egg Bowl who cares, and he's probably right.  Littlefinger hasn't done anything but sit on the sidelines and snipe people who are trying to make the world a better place.  He's a dick.  Dan Mullen ratted on Auburn about Cam Newton (who clearly got paid or at least his dad's church did), but still every SEC program pays players.  All of them do.  It's a gentlemen's agreement, you don't turn in someone else who does the same thing you did and is just better at it.  

MIZZOU Gary Pinkel - Oberyn Martell:  Where did this guy come from?  I don't know, but we better start taking him seriously.  The first year in the SEC was not kind to Pinkel, but last year he surprised everyone by winning the SEC East.  Oberyn came out of nowhere, and now he's one of the most powerful people in King's Landing.  He just sat on a tribunal to decide Tyrion's fate and seems poised to make the Lannisters pay for killing his family.  The SEC laughed at Mizzou as not being a big boy football team, and it may have taken a year, but Mizzou has shown they can play with best conference in football.

OLE MISS Hugh Freeze - Jon Snow:  Hugh Freeze seems destined to do well at Ole Miss (8-4/9-3 average would be well by Ole Miss standards), but it's going to take some time and he's still got a long road to hoe.  Jon Snow has been an interesting character, but he hasn't broken through yet to be any real threat to the Iron Throne.  Being the bastard son of Ned Stark, it's going to be tough to gain massive support, but he's capable of stirring things up in the process until he finds his way.  This is year 3 for Freeze who took a 2-10 team to 7-6 then 8-5.  Progress is being made, but he's still going to have to knock off the Big 3 if he wants to get people worried.  Hugh is still trying to find himself as a coach, while trying to do the right thing.

SOUTH CAROLINA Steve Spurrier - Tyrion Lannister:  Tyrion and Spurrier have a lot in common.  They are both hilarious and neither could care less about what anyone else thinks.  Tyrion's performance in this past week's episode was his best and the best performance by anyone on the show to date.  Spurrier's performance at press conferences is unparalleled.  It is always worthy of a few zingers and jabs at his opponents.  I hope Spurrier and Tyrion stay around as long as possible and so do GOT/Gamecock fans.  Tyrion demands trial by combat for the death of Joffrey, which is actually a punishment that is still on the books in England.  Seriously, in 2002 a man requested trial by combat rather than pay a minor traffic offense ticket in what is clearly the most ridiculous/badass move ever in the court system.  Watching The Head Ball Coach throw/kick visors and crack jokes have been comedy gold for years.  I just hope he coaches into his 80s so we can enjoy this as long as possible.

TENNESSEE Butch Jones - Stannis Baratheon:  Tennessee enjoyed a lot of success under Phil Fulmer and they have been trying to get back to what they believe is their rightful place in the SEC East.  Stannis has the best claim to the throne but he's going to have to beg, borrow, and steal to get his army back.  Tennessee has the ability to get back to SEC glory but it's not going to happen overnight.  Stannis has also been described as having the personality of a lobster.  Butch Jones doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who you'd like to have a beer with, but he seems to be a pretty good coach.  The plea made at the Iron Bank this week, by Stannis's loyal servant Davos was pretty convincing and the Iron Bank agreed to the loan.  I don't know if Tennessee's Board of Trustee's will be as giving but you can bet they are tired of .500 seasons, because they believe the SEC is their's by right.

TEXAS A&M Kevin Sumlin - Daenerys Targaryen:  Daenerys has been on the outskirts for 4 years building her army.  However, she now seems content to rule her own city rather than continue the march on King's Landing.  Sumlin has done a great job his first two years at A&M but he's had Johnny Football at the helm.  Don't expect to not see some drop off.  Johnny was responsible for at least 2 more wins per year than most normal QBs could have provided.  We'll see how A&M does without him going forward.  Daenerys now has to actually rule rather than conquer.  She crucified the Masters and clearly feels guilty for it, meanwhile her dragons are out barbecuing goats and she's got to repay farmers who clearly weren't expecting that kind of day.  It sounds a lot like Johnny Football's behavior.  You think everything is going great then you get a phone call  "Umm Coach Sumlin Johnny's in Vegas this weekend."  Then you turn on the news and see this.

VANDERBILT Derek Mason - Tommen Baratheon:  It's difficult not to root for Vandy.  Ole Miss plays them every year and even if they beat us I still like them (not that night but after I've calmed down).  They do their best to do things the way in which it was meant to be done.  They still don't have an athletic department, but that's not what Vandy's about, which is why they went and got Derek Mason from Stanford.  If he's half as good as David Shaw is, Vandy will be fine.  Tommen just became king after the death of his brother, but he still really doesn't know what he's doing.  Mason comes in on the shoes of a very very good coach in James Franklin and Vandy fans want to believe 8 wins is possible every year.  It's going to take Tommen some time, but he may turnout to be a good ruler.  For Vandy, 8 wins every now and then is a major step up.  Welcome to the SEC Derek Mason.  I hope his SEC Media days press conference when he's seated next to Spurrier go better than this though.

Game of Thrones continues tonight with Tyrion's Trial By Combat.  I highly doubt he'll be killed but after the Red Wedding who knows anymore.  Everyone I've talked to who have read the books basically say no one is safe, which makes the show that much better.  If you don't win in college football you're gone, and then even if you do win but you don't win as much as people expected you to, you're still gone.  So it's an interesting comparison.  Half the characters/coaches on this list may be gone in 3 years, but it certainly is entertaining.  By the way here's a quick preview of the Trial By Combat fight tonight.