Besides a bunch of other things in America that need an overhaul, the Holidays typically observed in America need a complete update, and that means making some much needed additions and subtractions. Please keep in mind this doesn't mean which Holidays we actually get a day off for, but quite honestly we should, it's more about Holidays we celebrate in general (i.e. We don't have a formal day off for Halloween, but it's awesome, so we celebrate it). So, let's take a look at which holidays we need to keep and which ones we need to move on from as soon as possible.
Courtesy of theguardian.com
THE UNTOUCHABLES
The following Holidays aren't going anywhere; they're awesome; we love them. Don't worry. They're here to stay.
NEW YEAR'S - College Football, new beginnings, new gym memberships, it's here to stay.
EASTER - The most important religious holiday for a large percentage of Americans.
4TH OF JULY - The original BREXIT.
HALLOWEEN - A pagan holiday that we morphed into the second most commercial holiday, behind Christmas. Capitalism at its finest!
THANKSGIVING - I'm not really a fan of Thanksgiving, because I think the history of it, or at least what we've been taught in school, is wildly inaccurate, and the food while decent, isn't anything to write home about. It's not going anywhere, but other than the all day football, it comes across as a family meal where you're extra thankful.
CHRISTMAS - Awesome Holiday, so much so that there's a build up to it literally the second after you finish Thanksgiving Dinner.
THE MEMORABLE HOLIDAYS
These are holidays that we remember for special reasons; whether it be our Military, Civil Rights, our parents, or the sacrifices workers made. They aren't going anywhere either.
MOTHER'S DAY - A day's remembrance where the origins go back to the Ten Commandments.
MEMORIAL DAY - A day where we remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our nation.
FATHER'S DAY - A day's remembrance where the origins go back to the Ten Commandments.
LABOR DAY - A day where we remember those who fought for a standard minimum wage, reasonable working hours, safe working conditions, and protections from child labor.
VETERAN'S DAY - A day where we remember all those who served and do serve to keep our nation safe.
THE REST
These holidays are basically take them or leave them holidays. I'm going to go through each one and asses whether we should keep them or drop them.
GROUNDHOG DAY - Gone. Look, it's a great movie about a man who contemplates what life is like when he is essentially immortal and has an infinite number of opportunities to win the love of Andie MacDowell, but the actual holiday is boring and bland. On February 2nd, a fancy named woodchuck is pulled out of a fake log cabin to tell you it's going to be cold for 6 more weeks. I think we'll survive without it.
VALENTINE'S DAY - Gone. While this holiday may have religious roots, it has become grossly commercialized. At least Christmas still has strong religious importance. This Holiday is basically an exercise in who can spend more money on flowers and chocolate while booking a table by the window at a fancy restaurant.
PRESIDENT'S DAY - Gone. Why is this even a Holiday? Are we really honoring people, the vast majority of whom, failed at their jobs? Let's honor Meteorologists and Economists while we're at it. Seriously, how many good presidents have we had? 10? Maybe. We're about to have our 45th President elected to office, that's less than a 25% success rate. Try being successful at your job 25% of the time and asking for recognition.
ST. PATRICK'S DAY - This one is tricky. Nearly everyone enjoys it, but is it really an American Holiday? If you think it is, you can pretty much sign up for Cinco De Mayo, Chinese New Year, Bastille Day, Liberation Day, etc. If you're fine with that, I'm good with it.
COLUMBUS DAY - Gone. Let me get this right, we honor a man who got lost, landed in a place that isn't part of the United States, didn't have the Americas named after him, was generally seen as cruel to the native populations he encountered, and additionally, wasn't even the first European to settle in the New World, which was already inhabited? We'll see ya Columbus Day.
NEW HOLIDAYS
One of the biggest problems we have is that after MLK Day, you basically don't have anymore paid Holidays until Memorial Day. That's 4 months with pretty much no off days, with the exception of Good Friday. So, let's take a look at adding some holidays to the calendar that are more fitting with the American Ideals.
Courtesy of wikipedia.com
SUPER BOWL MONDAY - This is the most watched event of the year, and nearly everyone in America struggles into work the following day. The loss in the amount of productivity the day after the Super Bowl is staggering, so it's not a stretch to realize that sports are an important part of American society and make this day a National Holiday.
Courtesy of appadvice.com
MARCH MADNESS DAY/ST. PATRICK'S DAY - This is how we keep St. Patrick's Day and incorporate it into a modern American tradition. Nearly everyone I know either fills out a bracket or at least tacitly follows the NCAA Tournament, though I do live in a basketball state. By starting the NCAA Tournament on St. Patrick's Day and making it a holiday, you're going to see bars and restaurants packed around the country, instead of people pretending to work while they check the ESPN app on their phone from noon until 5 o'clock.
Courtesy of mlb.com
OPENING DAY - I know football is king in America right now, but there's something uniquely American and magical about Opening Day in Major League Baseball. It's an amazing day in sports and a day that baseball owns exclusively. We'd be honoring our past, present, and future by grabbing a hot dog and heading to the ballpark.
Courtesy of clipartkid.com
9/11 DAY - America needs a formal day of remembrance for what is arguably the saddest day in our nation's history. Though it is a somber day, it's important to remember the horrible acts that occurred in 2001, so that it's never allowed to happen again.
Courtesy of pinterest.com
CONSTITUTION DAY - We talk a lot about the Constitution, but I'm quite frankly surprised we don't have an actual Holiday to remember it as the founding document of our legal system. September 17th would be part 4th of July and part Halloween, where Americans remember those rights that make our nation great, and if people feel so inclined to, dress up as your favorite amendment.
Courtesy of fairfieldct.org
ELECTION DAY - If we're really going to celebrate the Right to Vote, you should have the day off to exercise that right. One of the largest arguments for why people don't vote (whether it's valid or not) is that they don't have the time to take off work, and for citizens working jobs that are paid hourly, it's a legitimate concern.
While the Holidays give us both a sense of remembrance and a relief from our daily lives, they're significance can often be overstated. Here's to hoping that we begin to implement some changes in the near future.
